Way To Go, Rih-Rih

I tend to ignore Rihanna ballads for what ought to be obvious reasons, but I have to say I was quite impressed with her performance of the new track “Stay” on SNL over the weekend. As much as I adore thee, this walking venus flytrap doesn’t always sound the best when performing live. But yo, listen to her, y’all. She sounds good and not at all like a goat climaxing.

East Coast, where you at? Can she get a hand clap? West Coast, where you at? Can Rih-Rih get a hand clap? Dirty south, don’t you hate that they call us that? Never mind, back to the matter at hand: Can Rihanna get a hand clap?

If I had gone by Twitter’s description of Rihanna’s SNL set I would’ve been stuck on the debate as to whether or not she was “Whitney Houston high” as someone described her to me (I didn’t get that, FYI). That or I would’ve been lost in the Ecco the Dolphin themed graphics she had up during her vocally pleasant albeit demure rendition of “Diamonds.” Speaking of those throwback graphics, I hope Rihanna and Azealia Banks aren’t out here trying to make that fetch. Let’s not and say we did.

Now, granted this performance isn’t as electric as the question of sexuality-loosening performance she gave two years ago, but this is still very much a nice surprise. Certainly better than the lazy pussy pat bit she did earlier in the year on SNL. I hate when I feel like I could perform a song better than a pop star during a caffeine high at the gym, you know?

Anyway, I love “Stay” and if this is a preview of Rihanna’s future, I may tip to the next tour. Okay, probably not because she refuses to stop dancing like sweating is an inconvenience minus the occasional video. Maybe that’ll change yet in the meantime, bravo, Rih-Rih, all the same.

She will be getting my money for her new album, though. Yes, meanness aside, the record sounds good and hood. What is not to love? And she has the nerve to get me into one of her ballads finally? Somewhere Mariah Carey is throwing glass at the help in a hellish fit over the reality that with yet another album comes the inevitable: Rihanna snatching her singles record. The shade will be legendary. Stay tuned.