I think my friend is trying to kill me, only before I die, I’m going to have the loudest laugh Negronia has ever heard.
I wasn’t sure of what to make of Big Cynthia or new classic “That Nookie Thang” upon first viewing. I got easily distracted by the fact that both the song and video remind me of brown liquor and aunties whose stomachs have turned into giant Marshmallow Men, snatching away all of the attention their Duncan Hines’ used to get. Case in point, the blonde who looks like Khia as a senior citizen (so her in 2017, I suppose). For the record, she was working her nookie thang. Get it, ma’am. You and Tamar are proving that the twirking don’t stop past 30.
Then of course, there’s the very large Big Cynthia, who looks like Big Moe as a stud. Well, I thought she was stud because at the end someone with a real penis is trying to talk to her, mentioning how much he likes her apple bottoms. That part was a bit of confusing. You know, a 2005 reference to a song that sounds like 1978. Where am I? Then there’s the part about Black Chaz Bono looking way more interested in Khia’s Kousin than the guy. Plus, Cynthia’s not sitting on apples so much as abdominal snowmen. Damn, I’m not shit for saying that, but tell me I wasn’t the only only thinking it. However, no shade to big love.
Maybe I’m stereotyping too severely, but that scene between Big Cynthia and Big Daddy looked very Queen Latifah.
Also, did I hear her Black ass say, “Oh, papi?” before taking the Shades guide to dating i.e. tell me your name, what car do you drive, how much money do you make, as long as you have, I’ll be around? This video is so many things, but none of which deter from this song being kind of catchy. If you somehow convinced me to sip some gin or Wild Turkey, I might get up, find somebody’s nana and get to two-stepping while I wait for the peach cobbler to finish baking. Don’t worry, that’s a huge compliment in country.
Now are you ready to work your nookie thangs?
By the way, Big Cynthia’s been doing this for years. Also, she’s kind of a hoe. Sorry, Cynthia, you might be a lovely woman in person, but you know damn well eating is cheating. Nonetheless, I’m going to create a “Trife Hoe” playlist and this right under the “He’s Mine” remix.