Who Gon Check That Clinton, Boo?

This morning certified goon and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton appeared on Capitol Hill to testify before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee about the September 11, 2012 attacks on the American diplomatic mission at Benghazi. If there’s any basic cable channel that’s comparable to the political theater on display, I’d say the hearing was reminiscent of Bravo on a Sunday night when The Real Housewives of Atlanta was airing. There were side eyes, rolling eyes, yelling, and a few tears from Hillary that illustrated both her remorse and thug passion over the loss of lives in that terrorist attack. However, I get the feeling that at a few points, Hillary wanted to go full VH1 and jump over the table in which she sat — going straight upside the heads of the sucker ass Senators who tried to read her with a book full of blank pages. I don’t blame her: Jerk men are the absolute worst.

For some reason, a few Republicans assumed that Hillary Clinton traveled to Hollywood and learned how to fake a fainting to avoid speaking to them. That’s a testament to their stupidity and delusions of grandeur as it was quite clear from the start of the question and correcting period that Hillary was far more informed than any of the people trying to play her for a fool. Case in point, Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Wis.), who attempted to “mansplain” matters to Hillary only to be verbally smacked like the haughty sum’bitch that he is.

Other noteworthy jackasses include the orneriest man in Washington, John “Get The Fuck Off My Lawn, You Bitch” McCain, and Rand Paul, otherwise known as “What a dipshit?” As McCain blabbed out his talking points angrily, Hillary sat there and looked as bored as she could be. Likewise, she smirked as Rand Paul recited the monologue he worked on for several weeks, presumably thinking to herself, “Dear, God. This motherfucker is dumb as the ground I fell on.”

The thankfully not dumb Democratic Senator Dick Durbin amused me by essentially saying in political terms: “Who in the hell are they to try you and Barry, Hill, when only a few years ago were they force-feeding the world fables to start the Iraqi War? Conserve these nuts, conservatives.”

Okay, he didn’t really think that last sentence, but someone on that panel had to have had (likely Barbara Boxer).

All of it reminded me of why I don’t think I can enter political office. Well, not until I reach the “Al Franken” stage of my life anyway. The older I get, the less inclined I am to entertain morons who have no idea of what they’re talking about. I mean, unless they’re signing a check I need to cover a student loan.

Hillary is a trooper, though, and while I maintain that only masochists want to entertain thoughts of the 2016 presidential race this early, I couldn’t help but think to myself while trying to watch the hearing: “Damn, her scream off with Chris Christie is going to be everything.”

Oh yeah: I wrote about Bill O’Reilly opining that President Obama “hates” Republicans because he sees them as the “purveyors of white privilege” over at NewsOne. Click here if interested.