Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Email this to someone

I love “Body Party.” So much so that I made a $1.29 donation to her “Keep Me Relevant” fund on iTunes. I want this girl to win even if she continues to express her own reservations with such an outcome. I don’t love the “Body Party” video, though, or at least, not as much as others seem to.

For one, she’s not dancing enough. Not to mention, I’ve seen this sex kitten bit from her. Don’t get me wrong. God bless the sex kittens, but at what point do you get the ones who offer the same purr the exact same way every single time spayed?

That aside, anyone working to bring back the butterfly has my full support on such endeavor. Beyoncé did her part by including it as an old school dance in the “Get Me Bodied” video, but I’ve got to give it CiCi just doing it because it felt right. You better believe the first thing I did when I was able to crawl out of bed from illness late last week was to do the butterfly.

So yes, gon’ Ciara, and might I add, I also enjoy the reference to Janet’s video for “That’s The Way Love Goes.” At the same time, I think that’s why I don’t completely love this video and why I can’t completely commit myself to the band of misfits known as the C-Squad. Well, I think that’s what they’re called. Whatever, you get it.

How many Janet Jackson videos is Ciara going to recreate exactly? Okay, so it wasn’t a direct rip like those other two drawn from Damita Jo’s “You Want This” visual, but once I found out Ciara’s album change, I began to frown.

The fact that Ciara has switched her album title from One Woman Army to simply Ciara and the motivation behind it is not lost on me, he who has been a long time attendant of the Church of Janet Jackson and Butterflying Saints. Like the janet. album, Ciara marks Ciara’s fifth studio offering. Coincidentally, it’s the 20th anniversary of the janet. album.
All that plus the single cover for “Body Party” mimicking Janet’s single covers for “You Want This” and “All For You.” I’m not sure Janet Jackson knows what a Ciara is, and even if she did, she’s too busy swimming in her husband’s money fault as armed guards block brother Jermaine access into hers. Still, I’m irked for her.
Meanwhile, earlier someone asked me, “Do we believe this relationship?” referring to her and Future.

My response was, “I believe part of Ciara’s attraction is the idea that it’ll boost her celebrity.” That’s not to say  her feelings aren’t more genuine than that horrible valley girl tone she now speaks in, but I do think Ciara and Future want us to know they’re a thing. You can tell because they keep force-feeding it to the press blogs.

I wish someone would tell her that being a Kardashian is not a ticket to the musical promised land.

But because I’m such a good and modest person, I’m hoping Ciara’s fifth album is good and she can at least get her a gold plaque out of the deal. No matter what happens, however, I find Ciara creatively lazy. She is not an artist. She just wants to be famous. That’s fine, but riding Janet Jackson’s jock alone won’t get you there.

The other day another friend was lamenting how Ciara continues to let her potential to evolve as a dancer and performer go by the wayside. I used to share those frustrations, which is why my criticism of her could be a wee bit on the harsh side. Okay, my ass was mean as hell. I’m over it, though.

Just gimme an album I can twirk, too, Ciara. I don’t trust you on much else — including Janet level performances and videos. Hell, not even Mya terms of artistry (refer to the Moodring album). If you want to see an act take choreography seriously, go look up the “Grown Woman” performance. Or hell, the OMG Girlz…and the gays, of course.

You won’t ever be Janet, Ciara, but maybe you can become the music star La Toya never was. But, I do hope some other young woman steps up and gives us the kind of music Janet did years ago. Something socially conscious, self-affirming, and sexual. Ugh, dammit, I miss you so much, Janet. You can’t take off that burka for a few minutes and give me one more album  (a good one).

By the way, I want Ciara to stop acting as if she’s consumed with “positivity” when it comes to Rihanna — so much so that she won’t be bothered with their rift. Girl, look above. You started that. Don’t be cunty if you don’t want to deal with the consequences.

Whenever I feel myself walking towards the way of the C-Squad, not long after the universe trips me up, undoubtedly trying restore the natural order.

One more thing, with respect to Ciara saying in the video “He reads!”: Yeah, I just thought that as her corny and wrong attempt at using the Queen’s English. I didn’t even think it was a mystery. That’s what she was doing, but since she’s Ciara, she used it wrong.

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Email this to someone
Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Email this to someone

1. How many more “I dislike Beyoncé” pieces does the Internet need and isn’t it hard not to laugh at the mentally-challenged writers behind them?

2. Why do men like Ray J insist on behaving like they piss with a pinky finger versus a python?

3. Can someone inform Ms. Drama of VH1’s The Gossip Game that we already had a Tiffany Pollard and one was enough? Ditto for Married To Medicine’s Mariah, and her spirit animal, Tamar Braxton mid-tantrum?

4. How hard did Martin Luther King Jr. have to hold Harriet Tubman back from leaving the gates of heaven to go upside LL Cool J’s head?

5. Isn’t Chris Brown singing “I’m not dangerous” kinda like R. Kelly boasting about his love of older women?

6. What is it with Miguel talking about Frank Ocean as if dude stole his ruby red slippers?

7. Who gave Eve the impression that pop tunes was the way to go for achieving a rap comeback in 2013?

8. Isn’t Young Jeezy’s “R.I.P.” the best example of “old nigga rap” in a while?

9. How old is too old to bop down to the OMG Girlz?

10. So I’m guessing another major reshuffle is due for Love and Hip Hop: New Jersey New York?

11. Will someone explain to that cross-dressing, mommy-issue suffering, sexually repressed, judgmental, bullshit ass Tyler Perry that HIV is not nor should it be sold to the masses as punishment?

12. Doesn’t it feel like R&B female singers – minus the ones singing about cocoa butter anyway – are due for an awesome year?

keyshia cole tour 2013, keyshia cole tour costume, keyshia cole tour costume

13. Has Keyshia Cole been going through Nicki Minaj’s Goodwill box for tour costume ideas?

14. Can someone give me the email address to Ciara’s speech coach? I have some hate mail to send. Live from the land of Valley Girls.

15. Between Derek J slamming natural hair and A$AP Rocky offending Black women over their preferred shade of lipstick, how about fashion queens far and wide start thinking a wee bit more before they speak?

16. Did Lauryn Hill figure out a tax back plan with Uncle Sam or is she still due to become the host for Def Prison Poetry for the next three to five years?

17. Should I expect American Idol contestant Candice Glover to become like Fantasia, minus the baby mama anthems, illiteracy, and married boyfriends?

18. Why does it seem like I have more frequent birthdays (ahem, it’s today) than new episodes of Scandal?

19. Isn’t T.I. and Tiny: A Family Hustle more like trap Beverly Hillbillies than it is a nouveau Cosby Show?

20. Brother, can you spare a new Beyoncé single?

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Email this to someone
Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Email this to someone

Oh, look, you guys. Abigail Fisher has a little sister. Suzy Lee Weiss wrote what she called a “satirical” piece about her not getting into the colleges she wanted.  In it, she whined and whined about why “diversity” kept her from attending her preferred institution of higher learning and excessive tuition. Never mind that her grades and scores weren’t up to par or that she got into other good schools that, when combined with her race, will still result to her leading a life better than most who live under much different circumstances.

However, because Weiss threw in a few “jokes” with her rant, she doesn’t understand why people – us people – have any reason to pick at her.

After all, she’s the one who likely got her parents to fork offer large sums of money to enroll in SAT prep courses. That is, those standardized tests already culturally biased in her favor. I’m sure she also had them waste funds on school trips and interviews. Yet, it’s all so very, very unfair that of all the privileges she enjoys in the world, going to an Ivy League school isn’t going to be one of them.

Well, until she wrote this nonsense in the fucking Wall Street Journal:

For starters, had I known two years ago what I know now, I would have gladly worn a headdress to school. Show me to any closet, and I would’ve happily come out of it. “Diversity!” I offer about as much diversity as a saltine cracker. If it were up to me, I would’ve been any of the diversities: Navajo, Pacific Islander, anything. Sen. Elizabeth Warren, I salute you and your 1/32 Cherokee heritage.

So just like Abigail Fisher, whose Supreme Court case that might completely decimate affirmative action all over, her pity party is being treated by conservative-leaning entities who want to use their messages to further their anti-diversity initiative agenda. Now she’s being offered internships. Plus, as you can see, it’s come to my attention that she’s been furthered awarded for her musings on her mediocrity not being rewarded enough to her delight by being booked on Today.

I suppose it will never dawn on her that this whole hoopla demonstrates the kind of advantages she has in life and how a few ‘no’s’ cannot stop her show. Ditto for the realization that other folks with actual things of importance to say won’t get their voices heard in such far reaching media outlets.

But why would she care? It’s all about her, remember? Her. Her. Her.

Meanwhile, what a smug little something, she is.

“I was attracted to the sexy ivy league names.”

Gee, why wouldn’t anyone want you around, girl?

“It’s like 30 Rock taking on things politically correct.”

She’s young, so obviously what Tina Fey did on that show went completely over her head. Hopefully someone can cover the cost of a clue and send it fast delivery to her.

“We’re being judged on things that we cannot control as opposed to things that we can.”

Welcome to life. Don’t let it get you down, though. In the end, you are white, so gon’ flip that naturally straight hair of yours, girl. The system continues to be set up for the organically pale to be pushed into the promised land.

That said, damn you, Today show. There are millions of students who could only wish to have the options this brat does and you ignore them all the damn time. I don’t know why bratty white youth being obnoxious has become a recent trend in coverage about higher education in America, but I’d love for it to die a swift death. The sooner the better.

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Email this to someone