There’s Nothing Wrong With Making New Friends, You Jackass

Is there some kind of reality show version of The Revenge of The Nerds airing that I don’t know about? Where it focuses on life after college and the Alpha Betas for one Lewis Skolnick, who apparently knocked up a Black woman and/or adopted a mulatto baby and moved to Toronto, but kept playing The Geto Boys around the house? If so, that would explain much of Drake’s catalog.

“No New Friends” may not be as annoying as the God-awful and awfully creepy “Marvin’s Room,” but it sucks all the same. Not even an hour after the song first leaked, social media feeds all over were quoting this track and its annoying anti-social message. I don’t know who hurt this fake Houstonian, but when are we as a people going to stop listening to the advice of socially awkward Canadian rappers?

“No new friends. No new friends. No new friends.”

Seriously? Who hurt him? When will someone kiss the boo-boo and make it better for his bitchy ass?

Why the hell cannot we not make new friends, Aubrey? I’m a friendly, motherfucker. I happen to enjoy meeting new people.

Is this some sort of “I’m rich now, so I can’t trust people” bullshit? You’d think a guy who clearly benefitted from fame in varying ways – particularly when it comes to his interpersonal relationships – would sound a lot less anti-social. Of course, the very people parading around social media seeking attention, companionship, and yes, friendship won’t catch the irony of this nonsense of a song. Bless those folks and thank goodness I’m not one of them.

I just can’t take a Canadian who sounds like he grew up on the southside of Houston and wears DaDa Supreme styled outfits from 18 years ago seriously when it comes to social skills. And how is Lil’ Wayne on this song? Evidently, he’s friendly enough to have a litter of kids. I’m pretty sure Officer Ross has made many a new friend considering he had to find folks who actually believed his story about being the obese Tony Montana. Then there’s Khaled. Listen, a person that loud can’t help but make new friends. Otherwise he’d be in shouting matches all the time.

I hate this so much.