I Need Answers

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1. How can people still not grasp same sex attraction after seeing Colin Kaepernick naked?

2. Do you think Nicci Gilbert has finally found her jaw after Syleena Johnson snatched it, cracked it, and kicked it down the road on the season finale of R&B Divas?

3. How much longer do we have to deal with bitter, insufferable Laker fans pissed that Dwight Howard decided to leave an aging team with a coach that doesn’t know how to use him?

4. Will someone tell Miley Cyrus that Jay-Z using her as a metaphor for white America’s fears of Black men corrupting their lily-white perceived puritan princesses isn’t the same thing as a paying a compliment via shout out?

5. Actually, can Miley Cyrus just fall down a damn well with her annoying ass appropriation?

6. Why hasn’t someone put a wooden bullet through the phrase “turn up” yet?

7. Has there been any better metaphor for the decline of Foxy Brown’s career than this clip of her busting her ass while on a dingy stage at NYC pride?

8. Considering Jay-Z’s Samsung deal is nothing more than a one big techie hustle to pin through your data, is that really the way we want music sales to go?

9. Isn’t it too bad Eve’s new album sucks so bad given it took her 10 years to drop a new album the world forgot about in less than 10 minutes?

10. Does anyone even care about the oft-delayed new season of Basketball Wives?

11. Rehab anyone?

12. Why the British accent? Why is this child singing about hanging out at midnight and declaring love on a song called “Summer Fling?” Can they all go away for a while and not return until the aliens have been suppressed from their systems?

13. Do you think Marvin Gaye’s ghost is flattered that after years of trying, Robin Thicke has finally found the proper way to imitate him for success?

14. How annoyed do you think Lauryn Hill’s cell mate is already?

15. Why did y’all let “selfie” become a thing?

16. If Kelly Rowland likes her kisses down low so damn much, why can’t she give a full performance of the song on TV?

17. What are you more tired of?: People asking where’s Beyoncé’s new album or her refusing to provide an answer?

18. Who could’ve anticipated Instagram video being such a big ass drop of ice on your genitals?

19. Why are folks saying “Your body isn’t a party, it’s a fish fry” as an insult as if fish fries aren’t the shit?

20. Regardless of what the jury decides, can George Zimmerman drop dead?

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