I am fortunate to make a living – i.e. cover student loans, rent, a five-piece chicken strip’s dinner from Popeye’s – solely from writing. I am grateful, but now more than ever do I look at inbox and think, “WHY WON’T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?” I love pop culture and I love politics, but there are some people and subject matters I want to put on a first class flight to Irrelevant Island where I imagine Brooke Valentine, Gerardo, Sylk-E-Fine, and the fired cast members of VH1 reality shows all now reside.
I know that these sorts of lists are typically done towards the end of the year, but I can’t wait that long. Besides, I’m already getting emails about holiday sales. To that end, below is a list of 10 names and topics that I hope will die by Christmas. More than likely they won’t die, but just know that they really, really should.
10. Basketball Wives
You know, a wise white man once said, “You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold them.” Full disclosure: I currently collect a coin recapping this show, but that only means I truly understand just how wack this show has gotten. It’s not because the women aren’t throwing bottles and sucker punches at each other, though. Fact is, sitcoms typically outrun their storylines after a certain point, and their cheap cousins, reality shows, are no different. Go away, ladies.
9. Beyoncé Presumably Not Using A Comb On Blue Ivy
I’m not going to pretend that I’ve never looked at a baby’s head and thought to myself, “Should I call CPS on that child’s mama for not combing that child’s hair? But you know what? I’m dead wrong for worrying about how a baby’s child looks. Leave Beyoncé Jr. alone. She has her whole life ahead of you people judging her. Let her enjoy this break period.
8. The “Female” Debate
Stupid, sexist men: “Female” is an adjective or “describing word” used to modify a noun. You know, a “female cop” or a “female dancer.” Using it that way is fine, but referring to any woman you can think as simply a “female” is stupid, and frankly, your second, third, and fourth grade teachers owe you a refund. Now please, stop talking about this on Twitter so I won’t have to see any more retweets about it from frustrated women.
Read the rest over at Clutch.