Tito and Jermaine Braxton Gotta Let Janet Live

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It’s becoming increasingly harder for me to tolerate Braxton Family Values when Toni and Tamar aren’t the focus. Okay, Trina is cool most of the time (however, girl, do R&B and get back with Gabe), but besides that, no. What was initially a show about five hilarious sisters has flipped to something like watching Rebbie, Tito & Jermaine hate on Janet after Control took off. The sisters can play coy about it in the press all they want, but I’m not kin to any of these people and I’m not lying on any of their behalves.

The biggest problem of the show lies with the sister with the biggest nose (no shade as I have the biggest teeth among my siblings): Towanda Braxton.

Now, Yolanda Adams Braxton has spent pretty much the entire run of this show doing her part to make sure we share her resentment towards Tamar. I mean, Tamar is basically the term “doing the most” on steroids and with a silicone injection so we didn’t really need help in that regard (full disclosure: I’m a Tamartian most of the time). No matter as howvever one feels about Tamar, at this point this show has been on long enough for us to draw our own conclusions about her.

Ditto for her spinoff show. Which reminds me: Hey, Yolanda Adams Braxton. Tamar has a successful spinoff based on he appearance on Braxton Family Values. What does that tell you? I’ll give you a hint: After you solve the riddle, you ought to be hearing Tamar’s voice saying, “You tried it.”

And oh, did you ever try it a few episodes ago when you tried to compare your sister achieving a lifelong goal with her passing gas.

Tamar had every right to ask, “Hey, Towanda, I went to your 40th birthday party, do you think you could come see one of my shows? Did you buy my album? Why didn’t you call or text me to say congratulations about it hitting number one on the R&B charts?”

You would’ve thought Tamar had told Towanda, “I know when you were little girls, you dreamt of being in my world. Don’t forget it, don’t forget it. Respect that, bow down, bitches.” As Vince rose from under the stage to yell, “CROWN!”

Instead of just acknowledging that she should have congratulated her sister directly versus some random shout out on social media, Towanda just sits there letting the salt clogging her heart thwart her from showing common human decency. Worse, in the confessional, she whines about Tamar purportedly always “needing” someone’s attention.

This woman fixed her mouth to say, “You want me to always send you a text when you do something? Congratulations, you just had a big fart.” She also mentioned her taking a shit. First of all, maybe you’re thinking about your gas or the type of material presently filling up your evil thoughts, but woman, take some Gas X and say a little prayer to somebody up above and cut that shit out.

Traci Braxton is no better. We already knew she was a bit jealous of her sister, too, but she also sat there with a stank look on her face as Tamar ultimately cried on the following episode about how alone she felt because she didn’t have the support of her sisters. Well, minus Trina, who has proven to not be as bad as her evil sisters who need to step the hell off the TV screen.

Even now, when these three do interviews and Tamar goes up, Towanda goes out of her way to highlight that Tamar is the baby of the family. Look here, Towanda, it’s not so much Tamar being the baby of the family as it is you being an insecure, mean spirited, jealous somebody.

Anyone who knows about The Braxtons as a singing R&B trio and can recall Tamar back when she was singing “No Disrespect” and why a dude wasn’t getting none (with Amil breathing in the background) realizes her struggle. If people who don’t even like her, but realize how hard it is for someone of Tamar’s age getting a 19th chance at stardom and actually attain it this time and be happy for her, why can’t you?

Sure, you gave Trina some love about Barchicks, but even that contained a bit of shade. Why not celebrate your other sister? Why do you have to frown when she asks if you could spend a day or two on tour with her and watch her live her dream?

By the way, Towanda, if not for Tamar and Vince’s production company and Toni’s celebrity, no one would still know you outside of that one story about you getting arrested for writing bad checks.

And Traci, I know for the longest time you were Left Behind Braxton so God bless you for this show giving you some hope, but stop trying to make fetch happen with “TrayBirds.” Also, stop copying Black gay men and trying to be the “sassy” one. Your sister already did that. Besides, we already have you pegged as the sister who stayed in Murrlyn, but is now trying to flip this reality show notoriety into something. No takebacks.

The best part of last night’s episode was Trina’s conversation with Tamar over what it’s like being a new mom on the road. That was sisterhood at its best. Towanda is giving us the opposite end and it’s exhausting.

These women have to either work out their issues, or some of them need to be replaced with some Braxton cousins. I’m over it. They’re acting like the family members you don’t bother yourself with until the holidays.

If not, we can just make SWV Reunited a two hour show.

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