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Last nite, all of Appalachia gathered to punish hip-hop for stealing their phrase “knuck if you buck” without paying proper homage by way of Lady Antebellum dominating the 2011 Grammy Awards.

That is, if you are to believe the self-appointed oracles of music that took to Twitter to convey the less than subtle message: “Hip-hop don’t win shit ‘cause you Negroes with an igga don’t buy music.”

The sentiment bears about as much honesty in it as the tapped down crotch of a drag queen, but what does it matter given the Grammys only handed out about 3.5 awards in what felt like a 5.5 hour-long telecast anyway?

If the National Academy of Recording Arts & Sciences didn’t want to focus on who won what, why should I?

Let’s just move on from that and go straight to the performances.


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Anytime an award’s show is led in by a marathon of a reality show featuring orange people dipped in moose it is probably in everyone’s best interest not to get their hopes up.

Fortunately, up until a few days ago I had forgotten all about the Video Music Awards, which meant I didn’t even bother taking the time to feign excitement or optimism.

I will give MTV some credit – last year’s show was pretty good. It’s just too bad it’s not last year.

To that end, let me make one thing clear: This shit was awful. There were some good things – like, uh, the stage crewmembers set up – but overall it was a very dull event and I’ll likely forget most of what I’ve seen tonight six hours after this post is published.

I do have one good thing to say, though: I actually learned a few things from watching this. And when you really think about it, shouldn’t we all take comfort in the fact that I can still learn from a network that’s now known for some loudmouth dwarf named Snooki?

The answer is no, but I’m going to share my musings on this show with you anyway.

Okay kids, let’s dive in so I can off and dream about chicken wings and the death of Sallie Mae.


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I don’t think Mo’Nique ever had a problem with being honored by the Academy. It seemed to be more of an issue of whether or not she would bend over backwards to be honored for something she felt should be solely based on merit. She chose not to and based on her comments in recent and not so recent interviews, she’s admittedly about the bottom line. To some people you have to give a little to get more in the long run. To others they want all that you can give them from the jump.

As I contemplate driving up the block, turning on “Toss It Up,” and pop-pop-pop that thang for student loan cash, I can’t be mad at those who select the latter in hindsight.


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Rihanna has a history of performing at the same energy level as a sedated Britney Spears. But, to her credit I think she’s trying to do better as evidenced by this performance at the Echo Awards. Has she completely succeeded yet? No, not really, but in this instance I think we should give her an A for effort. If an A is too much, just don’t give her a D for deportation.

Before your eyes shift sideways, let me make my case.

Look at how she opens the performance. She’s actually moving, ya’ll. Like, not just her lips but her actual body. Granted, she’s bending over and busting it open for a Transformer, but I’m sure Jimmy Neutron is somewhere smiling because of it. She gave robot boy hope and potentially a hard on, folks. Does that count for something?


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I never get why people insist on repeating every year that the Grammy Awards are boring. That information is about as new as the second letter of the alphabet. Having said that, for a show known for putting people with attention-deficit hyperactive disorder into a mental coma I’d say this year’s Grammys wasn’t all that bad.

Interesting enough to get me to break down the three or 15 hour broadcast? Not even, but I can break it down in ten.

And we’re off:

1. Beyonce is everything, deal with it.

Truthfully, I would have never guessed “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)” would net a songwriting award let alone the biggest one of the night. But it did, which just goes to show you how effective both a video and a catchy hook can be. And that Beyonce is respected.

As far as Beyonce’s performance goes, she sounded great and I appreciate her hiring Blackwater troops to back her up for the performance. Better them in LA than Iraq. I’m a bit surprised she worked in the Alanis Morrisette cover from her tour into the act, but she can do whatever she wants. She obviously wants to sing angrier songs sometimes. Why didn’t ya’ll let “Ring The Alarm” be great?

I get a lot of flak from the more sanity-deficient members of B-Unit for not drinking her bath water all the time, but I’m elated the girl scored Best Pop Vocal Category (quite the cue for a black girl) and made Grammy history last night with her six wins.

I know Beyonce still seems to bring out the insecure high school girl in many people, but if the thought of Beyonce winning so much pisses you off to that great extent, grab an ice tray and hit yourself with it.

…now cool off, cool off.

2. Pink and her husband are jackasses.

Here’s Mr. Pink on how to properly convey that you’re jealous and bitter:

The demanding stunt did not impede her singing, she said, adding, “No one ever has another excuse to lip-sync.”

With her tour over, Pink said, “I’m going to go home and cook and get fat.”

Hubby Carey Hart, meanwhile was quick to chime in with a few words of support via Twitter. “Though Pink wasn’t the big winner tonight, she stole the f*ckin’ show! 150 dancers don’t compare to her alone on the stage. Ask the crowd.”

He later added: “Pink, you were amazing, and EVERYONE knows it. No gimmicks [sic], just talent. I love you baby.”

I prefer Pink when she was singing Linda Perry’s life story, but she obviously still knows how to churn out a hit. That said, while I appreciate her trying to be different than her peers I hate the condescending attitude she has towards them.
For her and her husband’s information, giving yourself a bath in a leotard before you swing around an arena like an extra from Cirque du Soleil is just as gimmicky as hiring a bunch of background people for your performance.

Not to mention her incessant need to remind us that she’s completely antithetical to the cookie cutter pop stars of the world makes her seem just as contrived as the people she constantly lashes out at.

From Britney Spears calling her out for sending her flowers one day and thrashing her the very next years back to the way she made it seem as though Kanye West skinned her damned puppy with his bare hands in front of her – Pink can be really bitchy at times.

She sounded good last night and her performance was fine, but just so we’re clear Beyonce sings circles around Pink. Homecoming is over, Pink. You lost. Accept it and move on.

3. It was good to see Rihanna on stage accepting an award.

Last year was Rihanna’s year and it’s sad it was taken away from her. Fortunately, while this year wasn’t as big for her as last year it was good to see her back a year later in good spirits.

See how nice I sound? And I bet you were expecting me to throw an eclipse her way.

4.  Michael Jackson Can Outsing You Dead

The tribute was nice and Carrie Underwood and Jennifer Hudson sounded lovely, but that performance reminded me of just how good a vocalist Michael was. I was never a huge fan of “Earth Song,” but he sounds amazing on it. Bless Usher’s heart for trying to hit those high notes.

When he got down to the ground as if he was doing something in my mind I imagined that was simply Michael kicking him.

I still felt it, though.

5. Leave Disabled People Alone

I am still confused by Jamie Foxx’s performance last night, but I do know talking about people with disabilities is not the business. It’s actually a good way to get a stamp and wrist band for the VIP section of Club Eighth Circle. That’s the hottest spot in Downtown Hell for those who aren’t up on game.

6. I Appreciate Country Music Artists

They provide great bathroom breaks.

7. The Grammys still don’t respect hip-hop.

No offense to Stephen Colbert, whom I love, but best comedy album can be presented on-air (which is very rare), but best rap album can’t?

As for Drake/Eminem/Lil’ Wayne’s performance, it could best be described with three words: Beep, beep, beep.

Damn, FCC. Why so serious?

8. Ciara is relentless.

I see this girl will not rest until everyone calls her a fashion icon and sex symbol. Can someone hurry up and tell a white lie so she can go back to doing what made her popular?

9. Lady GaGa was wronged.

Not robbed because she did kick off the show with her long lost aunt and did win two hours, but I didn’t like the fact that GaGa didn’t accept an award on television. She was a main draw to the show so I think it made sense for them to make sure she’d get a chance to win something while the show was airing. They’ve done it countless times in recent years so why not do it for her?


I loved her showing up to the show as Judy Jetson. Look and learn, Ciara.

10. Taylor Swift wants your award…and will get it.

How in the hell did she win Album of the Year? Better yet, how sad is it that they kick off the presentation of the award noting that ten years prior Carlos Santana won the same award ten years prior before handing it to Taylor Swift?

That girl is nice (although I’m over the whole “I’m so shocked I’m still winning every damn award” thing), but I’m just surprised that she’s managed to become as much a critical success as a commercial one.

Before you even say it again, I don’t think Kanye has much to do with it. Yes, he got a large percentage of black people to learn her name and the sympathy of people with every other hue, but she was already slaying the competition in sales so that can’t be it.

You all are so fixated on Beyonce, Jay-Z, and Rihanna kicking it with the demon down under that you might have missed out on the real conspiracy.

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When I wrote my review for I Am…Sasha Fierce, I pointed out how skeptical I was about Beyonce’s sincerity over how much she really opened up with her third solo offering, writing:

That’s why no matter how many times she calls it the “most personal album she’s ever done,” I Am…Sasha Fierce is nothing more than a continuation of the same format used to create her solid debut album and even stronger sophomore offering. Try as she might to parade her catchy and often clever songs as something innovative, her sound is usually a representation of what’s hot at the time – only executed better.

There’s nothing wrong with that, but the methodology won’t get Beyonce the respect she wants. Neither will it make the schmaltzy acoustic-driven ballads found on the first half of her double concept album seem any less impersonal than they are.

And last night I find out she nets an Album of the Year nomination for my least favorite album of her collection. Along with nods for Record and Song of the Year, therein getting the respect she wants.

She told me.


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I anticipated the American Music Awards to be an entertaining show given the lengthy list of performers. But, anyone who’s been watching award shoes all decade should know that’s usually nothing more than a set up. Most award shows that don’t feature a performance from Queen Creole usually suck. That’s  my story and I’m sticking to it. Still, you can learn a few lessons from last nite’s show…and I’d much rather focus on those than write about every single boring performance shown last nite.

1. Know When To Hold ‘Em, Know When To Fold ‘Em

Although she hadn’t danced that hard since the Wayans family signed her checks, J.Lo busting her ass while performing a song rejected by Brandy is a sign that maybe it’s time to for her to reconnect with the film world. She’s still in shape, she can still dance, but really, “I’m throwing on my LOU BAH TONS. I’m throwing on my LOU BAH TONS.” I vote no, and apparently so did the shoe that led to her falling on her ass.

P.S. Dear broadcasters, there is no point in trying to edit things out when in the world of instant YouTube recap videos.

2. Some People Will Never Have It

I swear you could bring out Jesus to cover Chris Brown’s portion of the “Umbrella” remix and Rihanna would still find a way to kill the excitement of the performance. To her credit, on the new album she sings with more confidence and judging by her stage attire is still very confident with herself aesthetically. But unless you’re on a pole, in some editorial pages or someone’s bed chances aesthetic beauty only entertains for so much. There are slight improvements, but just not enough yet. It’s been years now. The songs are there but memorable performances are not. When is she going to step it up?

3. You Don’t Have To Sell Ass To Get Asses Out of Seats

Mary J. Blige has never sounded better and she didn’t need all of the theatrics to give a decent performance.

4. But Don’t Trip, If You Shake Ass Correctly It Still Works

I know Damita Jo is in her 40s and last nite’s performance doesn’t move you the way she did a decade prior, but she still did alright and she’s still embarrassing people twenty years her junior. I don’t know if I should be proud about that or start planning a vigil for the recording industry. Better yet, I might just pray for Janet. I know she’s tired of performing these same set of songs. I didn’t need to watch eight minutes of hits to know she hasn’t had a hit in eight years.

5. If You Can’t Dance, Don’t…Please

This means you, Alicia Keys. I don’t know why she’s so adamant about two-stepping and body rolling. She’s not particularly good at either. I’m not even saying that to be mean (no really, not this time). I just don’t find it necessary to see Alicia and her girls dancing like Ciara on a brick wall to a ballad. Hasn’t Mashonda suffered enough?

6. Crazy People Rule The World

Lady GaGa may seem like the type to use WiteOut as her own personal hot sauce, but as long as she can sing and entertain, happy sniffing.

7. Black People, Like White People, Need To Get Over Themselves

I get irritated as hell when those from paler pastures act as if no person exists until they realize who they are. Likewise, I’on particularly care for it when my cousins in colored do the same thing. As for Taylor Swift winning Artist of The Year, yeah, I wouldn’t have given it to her either but based on all that she’s accomplished this year it makes sense. I first learned about Taylor because I wanted to know who the hell was this random girl outselling Beyonce and Britney last year. Then I figured out that she was some teen country star who basically makes more money in an hour than I doall year (for now anyway).

Kanye West brought her to you all’s attention, but look at it like this: Why did Kanye get mad again? Because he beat out Beyonce for an award. The VMAs, like the AMAs, are now voter driven so evidently, plenty of people already knew she was alive.

And with respect to Michael Jackson, what new album did he come out with this year again? I’m not even sure he would want all of these posthumous awards if they weren’t related to  new product.

8. Actually, Some Gimmicks Do Get Old

We get it, Hov. We really do.

9. As You Get Older, You Start Becoming Confused

What is a Glorina? When did Shakira become the Columbian Creole? And as far as Adam Lambert goes: Why?

10. Most Artists Really Suck Now

I think I answered my own question as to why Michael Jackson got nominated for artist of the year.

Now if you want a more detailed recap of the show, check my Twitter timeline. Make note of the contributions from Mama Sinick.

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I feel bad for Janet. I can only imagine how many catfish po’boys one of my favorite people in the world passed on just to get close to her normal fighting weight in time to pay tribute to her brother. Yet despite as great a job as she did in honoring the King of Pop she’s since been overshadowed by the Queen of Copping An Attitude.

Do I even have to write yet another soliloquy on why Kanye ain’t shit for pulling this stunt? Like I tweeted yesterday, ya’ll know how queens get about Beyonce. But let this be a lesson to you:

Brown will cause folks to frown. If I were Diddy, last nite I would’ve got on stage and told folks that’s why ya’ll shouldn’t drink brown liquor as I held a bottle of Ciroc close to my heart.

Though the apology has since been taken down, at least he was quick to acknowledge his wrongdoing. Still, this really didn’t change my point of view about him because of this statement:

And in turn a bunch of his stans/enablers respond with, “He just said what we all were thinking.”

So? That doesn’t mean we should jump on stage and steal someone’s moment away when we feel a certain way about it. A teenager’s moment at that.

I’m really tired of people who feel they can excuse their antics by claiming to be overcome with emotion. If you have that great a problem containing yourself it’s time to look into seeking professional help. Seriously. Get a hug, get some God, get a prescription — whatever you think will prevent you from looking like an erratic jackass.

‘Ye’s second apology is much better:

I feel like Ben Stiller in “Meet the Parents” when he messed up everything and Robert De Niro asked him to leave… That was Taylor’s moment and I had no right in any way to take it from her. I am truly sorry.

This guy is a character. But, he did say he was a pop culture enthusiast, so I’ll let him be great…even though he couldn’t afford Taylor that same luxury. Shade.

Speaking of shade, didn’t Lil’ Mama scold that tranny on Dance Bitch Dance (I don’t remember the name of the show, sorry) for not being lady like? What’s lady like about hopping on stage during someone else’s performance like you belong?

This is probably why Bow Wow’s parents left his long lost twin sister on that stoop in Brooklyn (ya’ll can’t convince me those two aren’t related or the same person).

Now on to the people who didn’t embarrass anyone.

That is, at least not for pulling any dumb moves on stage. Look, I’m not here to try and justify Lady GaGa killing a vulture and demanding that her stylist put it around her neck so wouldn’t be able to move it until the next outfit change. Say what you want about her choices in fashion, but the woman can perform.

She is by far the most interesting pop start to come since Madonna. This is exactly why I blogged about her. She’s refreshing. She might dress up as a pre-op tranny in a cat suit at the next big award show, but as long as she’s singing, dancing, and offering an elaborate stage set up such as the one last nite I’ll hand her my pair of socks.

That blood flowing from GaGa can either represent the death of Christina Aguilera’s career or my interest in Britney Spears as a performer. Your choice.

As usual Beyonce killed it. I don’t care if this is the millionth + seven time Beyonce has performed “Single Ladies.” She continually puts her all into her stage act and is by far the best entertainer of the year. And her performance was recession-friendly. No major theatrics, no fireworks — just hot choreography, a great face, and lots of energy.

I’m also thrilled that she continues to dispel the myth that she is the biggest bitch on Earth. I don’t know why people continue to project their own insecurities onto her, but Beyonce constantly reminds people that she is a class act. It’s becoming less common for videos to make a fuss in pop culture, so for “Singles Ladies” to dominate the way it did it’s only right Beyonce be awarded Video of the Year.

Earlier in the night Beyonce said if she wanted any award it was that so for her to give up her time to let Taylor have her moment says a lot.

And if you don’t like well, here you go.

Before we close it out:

Perez has some nerve. He spends day after day throwing salt on Beyonce’s name, yet here he is in his mama’s old curtains grinning like a fool when in front of her.

Where is that Tyra Banks episode of her wearing her real hair when you need? I thought this girl was making Euros now? That’s OK, Kelly. I love you…even if your weave lady doesn’t.

I know a Selena sequel is out of the question, but what will it take to get her back to the J.Lo of 2001?

Joe Joe, who this woman?

I initially thought Madonna’s intro was a little self-indulgent, but I was honestly paying too close attention to the Tweets. Upon looking it over again, I enjoyed it and I appreciated her sharing something so personal. One thing threw me off upon the second viewing:

Yikes. I don’t mind her dressing like an extra on True Blood, because all black fits the occasion, but what’s good with her hands? Those are the hands of a woman who helped built the Arc. It’s Madonna, though, so I suppose I’ll let it slide and look away…fast.

All and all this was the best VMAs in years. I’m not sure if they’ll be able to top this considering I didn’t know who in the hell half the people nominated for VMAs were and I doubt MTV did either. But let’s give them credit where credit is due.

Now let me stop typing before Lil’ Mama shows up in my room and hops on my keyboard.

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Just a few observations about the BET Awards:

D.L. Hughley was about as funny as constipation last nite. He had a few moments, but overall it was like his old shtick from a decade old edition of Comic View only not as good. But hey, if he’s still getting hosting gigs, he must be doing something right. That or Mo’Nique asked for a break.
Also not funny was the award show banter — minus Niecy Nash, of course.

Where were all the winners? For the few awards they actually handed out at the BET Concert Awards, most of them didn’t seem to show up. Did folks wake up Tuesday morning and say, “I ain’t going to that shit?”

Everyone needs to give it up to Michael Jackson, because even when he’s not there he’s still the star of the show. Ne-Yo needs to send Michael a check for recreating the “Smooth Criminal” video last night.

Negro Please Quote of the Night: “We’re blessed to be in T-Pain’s presence.”

Someone should ask Kanye what it tastes like. Probably beef flavored Ramen noodles, weed, red Koolaid, and bad breath.

That other comment he made: “I’m one of the king’s right now, so my opinion counts” – there’s so many different reasons to laugh at that.

This is “Generation Next?” Should I take a deep sigh now or at least be grateful that Soulja Boy plans to vote (take that, Nasir)?

Keyshia Cole looked great, but sounded like Frankie fresh off a pipe run. And she was doing so well lately. No Longer Lil’ Kim was irrelevant – and didn’t they bring her out with Keyshia last year?

Alicia did well. One of the highlights of the night. Lil’ Wayne seemed timid for him. I enjoyed “A Milli,” but overall very average for him. Same for Jill Scott.

Yay. It was good to see SWV, not necessarily hear them. I loved the group, but Coko was not on it yesterday. T-Bone looked like she had just woken up. Chilli looked so happy to be on stage. Enjoy it while it lasts, Frosty.

Usher: Oh how the mighty have fallen. Whatever that odd note was at the end sounded like back pain. I enjoyed Old Jeezy more. I hate “Love In This Club” now, by the way. He should look into a retirement villa. Bring Nelly.

Rihanna sounded really good. Go her.

No disrespect to T-Pain, because I applaud his hustle, but am I the only one who finds him incredibly corny? He still reminds me of the oldest Gummy Bear/an Ewok.

And now for the best of the night:

I am so glad that John Legend didn’t take part in the Al Green tribute. If he was that boring just standing on stage, I can only imagine his performance. Whatever planet Maxwell flew in from, revoke his visa and force him to stay. He killed it!

Last but not least:

I have nothing bad to say about Chris. Absolutely nothing. He and Ciara did very well. Speaking of Ciara, can someone please tell her she’s sexy so she can stop trying to bounce her muscle butt on stage to prove that she’s ultra-feminine and sexy. Y’know, because selling sex is what makes you oh so different.

As for that post-show goes: That’s the best Ciroc commercial I’ve ever seen. As a matter of fact, this blog entry is brought to you by the great people at Ciroc Vodka.

Yeah, I’m done now.

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In an era of music where success can now be determined by how many ringtones you sell, I wasn’t entirely excited about “the biggest night in music.” It’s more like, “Oh. That still comes on?” Nevertheless: Hey, ya’ll, it’s Grammy time!

For days there was word of a “big surprise” performance at the beginning of the show. That turned out to be Alicia Keys looking like the lovely Lena Horne performing a ‘duet’ with the dead Frank Sinatra. Though it was really awkward and almost laughable to hear Alicia say, “Yeah, uh huh. Sing it, Frank. Yeah!” to the ghost of Grammy past on video, she did well. Sleep-inducing, but she did well.

Prefacing the performance with a montage honoring the Recording Academy’s 50-year-old awards ceremony, I imagine the bigger surprise is that we’ve gone from Frank Sinatra and Ella Fitzgerald as nominees to Soulja Boy.

The minute they gave Alicia Keys an award for vocal performance for “No One,” I knew this was going to be a long night. Hate aside, it says a lot of last year’s music scene when an artist that isn’t nominated in any of the major categories performs twice. Get the ratings how you can, CBS!

Speaking of multiples, must we honor the Beatles every year on some award show? Don’t ask me how the tribute went. I went to bathroom.

While it’s no “Achy Breaky Heart,” I’ve warmed to Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats.” It sort of reminds me of the white woman’s answer to “Not Gon’ Cry.”

Best Duke Kit honors no doubt go to Morris Day. His hair seemed fresher than most of the female performers — but I wouldn’t expect anything less from anyone affiliated with Prince, a man who should have thought of “Stilettos (Pumps)” first.

It was a somewhat random segue from “Jungle Love” to “Umbrella,” but the performance was cool. Am I the only one who thought Rihanna looked a lot like that androgynous villain in Ghostbusters? You know, the one that asks Peter Venkman, “Are you a God?”

Yes, she looked great on stage and the red carpet, but c’mon nah. Doesn’t she look a little bit like Zuul?

Oh yeah, another thing: Tell Morris to slow his role. She’s old enough to be his great grandson’s first wet dream.

I really want Aretha Franklin to get to a healthy size. The front of her neck looks like Oscar, the back Meyer. I read that she’s working to drop those excess pounds, so good luck Re-Re! Be healthy!

I pretty much laughed the first two minutes of the Tina Turner/Beyonce duet. Granny is not playing with ya’ll. The performance was fine, though I was really hoping they would switch from “Proud Mary” to “Get Me Bodied.” I so wanted to see Tina do the scissor leg.

So this is what he meant by Glow in the Dark tour, eh? Sometimes when I look at Kanye, I think of queens and extasy. He just seems to be on some “LOOK AT ME! BITCH I SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAID, LOOK AT ME” type shit. But hey, folks seem to dig it, so it obviously works for him.

Having said that, it was nice to see him perform something for his mother. I can only imagine how difficult that must have been for him.

Who told Cuba Gooding Jr. it was acceptable for him to say “know what I’m saying?” Let’s all remove it from our vocabularies.

Well, she certainly dances like a crackhead. And either she had that crack itch, or she was about to masturbate on stage. Don’t worry, dear: Blake will be out soon.

It was good that she was given the chance to perform. It’s a shame what should have been the biggest nights of her life couldn’t completely come to fruition because of her addiction. Hopefully she pulls together. The shout out to her Bobby Brown, Blake, somewhat worries me.

As for her acceptance speech: Ray Ray and Joe? Shouting out her main in jail? Big ups to London? Didn’t I tell ya’ll she and her husband were the white Bobby and Whitney?!

Sigh. My people, my people. Who invited them?


As for the awards, which seems to be the backdrop of the show these days:

Record of the Year: I gather the votes must have been split, because I know I heard “Ella, ella, eh, eh, eh” and “To the left, to the left” more times than I can count. I like “Rehab,” but that’s actually not one of my favorite songs from the Wino. Rihanna and Beyonce had the biggest songs of the year, so maybe it’s time people who actually have the biggest songs of the year finally win an award for it. I still feel Beyonce was robbed for “Crazy In Love.” This is the first time Beyonce hasn’t won a Grammy just for showing up. Someone’s wind machine is broken right now.

Album of the Year: In typical NARAS fashion, the members of the Academy voted for the oldest name on the ballot. Out of all of the awards Amy Winehouse was nominated for, that was the one award I hoped she would have won. That was a superb album, and one of the finest R&B/Soul offerings to be released in a long time. It’s a shame she didn’t win that award, because I would have loved to hear her shout out Junebug and ‘nem.

Then again, the Academy seems to consider Amy’s music “Pop.” Now, I get “Pop” means popular, but this is a category Britney Spears has an award in. Why wasn’t Amy placed in the R&B categories? Her sound is more rooted in R&B than the likes of Beyonce and Rihanna, who arguably could be placed in the Pop categories themselves. Stop placing artists in categories based on race.

Best Female R&B Vocal Performance: I know I’ve made my thoughts about Alicia Keys clear, but I genuinely don’t think she deserved that award. She won that award off of name recognition. Like Beyonce, Alicia Keys benefits from the notion of name factor. It’s when uninformed voters look at the ballot and say to themselves, “Don’t know her. Not a clue. Ok, who are these people? Oh wait, I know that one. Winner!” Alicia Keys sounds awful on that song. Now if we were talking about “You Don’t Know My Name” then I would say yes, she deserves it, hands down. But on “No One” Alicia is straining throughout the entire sing, and even if that were the intended goal, it’s not the best vocal performance. Chrisette or Fantasia deserved this. It’s not like Alicia isn’t going to win 80 more Grammys next year.

I was talking to someone last night who pointed out that Jodeci and En Vogue have never won Grammys…not even for their vocal performances. Isn’t that ashame?

Best Male R&B Vocal Performance: Prince won this because they know his name and NARAS loves the oldie but goodie (to them). Love Prince, but “Future Baby Mama” is no “Adore.”

Best R&B Performance By A Duo or Group With Vocals: You mean T-Pain and Akon didn’t have this one in the bag? 😐

Best Urban/Alternative Performance: Well it’s cool that Lupe Fiasco can call himself a Grammy winner (and Jill Scott at least won something), but I really love Alice Smith’s “Dream.” If you haven’t heard it, find it. Now.

Best Contemporary R&B Album: Frankie ought to look into shanking someone because Keyshia Cole’s Just Like You deserved this.

Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group: UGK and Outkast should have won this. R.I.P. Pimp C.

On that note, after watching this, I have to go work on my beats. I have to make sure Young Sinick wins Best New Artist in a year or two.

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