People have been picking a part how “gay” so many of the current dances look for years now.
In a perfect world, those who feel that silly dances are more potent than DNA in determining one’s sexuality would ultimately change their minds. Or at the very least, fall off into the abyss with the other morons who serve as daily reminders of why the phrase, “Swallow more” should become America’s favorite new catch phrase.
But, obviously we don’t live in a perfect world so my eyes are still marred by dimwitted musings like the following:
THAT f***ING DANCE LOOK LIKE A f*gGOTT DANCE,, I KEEP TRYING TO TELL n*ggaS THAT s*** IS SOME f*gGOT SHHITTTT,,,HANDS ON HIP LIKE A f***ING WOMEN WTF
Yesterday, I woke up to about 2o-plus emails from angry readers over my latest piece for Aol News. If there’s one thing I noticed about Aol News readers, it’s that whenever I write about race a lot of people get upset.I think that anger stems from their frustration that I refuse to acknowledge “the truth” that racism is over and black racists like me will never succeed to launching a race war because Dr. Martin Luther The King made America a utopia once he publicly aired out his nighttime brainwave activity.
I’ve been sitting on this post idea for weeks because I didn’t want to potentially offend friends of mine, but I can’t take it anymore.
There are some wonderful people on Twitter only some of them make it extremely difficult for anyone to notice because they come across irritating as hell online.
As I previously mentioned in the entry “You’re As Deep As A Wad of Spit, Shut Up,” one of my biggest gripes about Twitter (and Facebook to a degree) is all of the faux philosophers who fill my timelines with random drops of “wisdom” that seem inspired by Sesame Street and methamphetamines.
But, it’s not just those folks. I wish they were the least of my worries.
Twitter is a microcosm of the world, but only a short time ago were we all afforded the privilege of only finding out the worst qualities about our friends if we placed ourselves in awkward situations – such as dating and/or sexing them. Thanks to social media, we get it all one tweet and status update at a time.
I want to continue to love some of these folks, however several of their Web antics are making it hard to.
Like a natural jackass, I’ve compiled a list of the worst offenders. Feel free to agree, curse me out, tell me “pot meet kettle” or whatever you deem necessary.
Let me just say that I would rather use my dick as a tennis racket than hold a conversation with Kat Stacks. Her slurred speech, deluded sense of self-importance that’s fueled by antics that suggests she actually has no self-worth, along with her obvious dreams to be the illiterate world’s answer to Karrine Steffans all irk the living hell out of me.
And don’t get me started on how whatever ass shots she got injected into her have given her what looks like a booty in the shape of a dented mushroom. There are trannies with more believable female body parts. She would know, she uses the same doctor.
All that shade aside, when I saw this video of her being slapped by men thrice her size, I was disgusted. As I’ve made it perfectly clear several times over I do not condone domestic violence so you can imagine how I feel about men assaulting a woman. What sickened me even more was the round of applause these men got from a select group of people.
Well, mainly from other men.
Some people spoke on “karma.” Karma is one of those terms people like to repeat without actually having any knowledge about it. You know, like love, God, friendship, or gumbo.
Kat Stacks being attacked my men isn’t karma. It’s gossip being punished by violence. The end. Stop trying to attribute it to something considered “deeper” in order to excuse your amusement by a defenseless woman being attacked by a man.
What further disappoints me is that based on what I saw on Twitter, a lot of gay men have had a laissez-faire attitude towards a woman being beaten. Or at least, a lot of the gay black men who fill my timeline. It’s yet another glowing example of how misogyny spans sexual orientation — even if that same misogyny is routinely used against gay men.
The men who attacked Kat Stacks did so out of retaliation for her gossip mongering. I get that, but I also think these men felt that because she’s a woman, they think she’s beneath them. It’s much easier to physically attack someone when you think they’re below you. You’re preying on their perceived weakness.
Considering most homophobia is rooted in the hatred of women, it’s fair to say real punks like these men look to people like me to as a punk. I don’t think gay men are like women, but I do realize how often the two are grouped together in terms of how hypermasculinity dictates that we collectively are “less than.”
That’s why I ideally, I’d like to imagine gay men having a bit more understanding about why it’s not OK to beat on a woman. Although the notion of meshing fluids with a female makes my stomach do the jerk, I really do have a great appreciation for women. I totally got GaGa when she told Larry King yesterday, “Gay men never wanted anything from me but my friendship.”
It’s really unfortunate to find there are still many gay men who pick up on the same bad habits of their wannabe hypermasculine supposedly heterosexual brethren. I say supposedly because the biggest irony of this all is, these men were defending someone who often acts about as hard as I would with Kat Stacks in my lap.
This is what happens when singers lie to producers while in desperate need a hit. I wouldn’t call myself a fan of The-Dream as an artist. He has a few catchy songs – my favorite being “I Luv Your Girl.” I am a big fan of The-Dream as a producer.
However, you would think a producer of his stature at this point would know that some things are better left untouched. Then again, we live in an era of music where the producer is so ego driven that he just has to be in front of the camera — even if he sometimes sings like he hasn’t gone to the bathroom in seven years.
As a fan of Aaliyah I can’t pretend to be offended for her. When you take a classic record like “One In A Million” you have only two options: Make it good and make it better. Making it sound like one of the worst R&B songs of the previous decade shouldn’t even be thought of.
Teddy Graham, why would you do this?
He answered via Twitter:
“No one will ever [sing] Aaliyah’s ‘One In A Million’ like she did! Deff not me lol. I did it because I Reilly miss her still and it was out of respect! To her I’m still just a fan not a writer not an artist a Fan! Calm down the worlds not over. But [at least] y’all will remember how dope she was and still is to this day!”
Yes, we remember and we didn’t need an awful rendition of one of her best tracks to revisit that fact. He could’ve fooled me calling this a tribute. It sounds more like an audible demonstration of the pains of puberty. Something you show in the few health classes left to scare young boys into submission.
I’m sure he had all of the best intentions in the world, but when I pay tribute to Aaliyah via an improvised performance of “Rock The Boat” I do so in private. Or, I’m at least kind enough not to tape me working the middle while on a public sidewalk on a random afternoon and upload it to the Internet.
Some things are better left unseen and heard.
This is the type of nonsense that has you wanting to snatch a processed curl from Terius’ skull and getting at a voodoo priestess so she can conjure up a good case of strep throat. I would expect this sort of behavior from a uncivilized teenage queen on YouTube. Shame, shame ya’ll.
Warning: This video is not safe for work. As a matter of fact, the percolating penises present in this unfortunate video presentation may cause you to go blind in one eye and temporarily develop a case of vagina envy. Proceed with caution.
A lot of ya’ll get on my damn nerves trying to be the new Iyanla Vanzant.
It’s a pattern I’ve noticed for months on Twitter and Facebook: Everyone assuming they need to type like a motivational speaker. The same can be said of certain talk show hosts who feel as though that every single thing has to be made into something larger than it actually is.
Everyone wants to be a poet, philosopher, and quote pimp. To that end here’s a nice quote for you folks: “Everything ain’t for everybody.”
So many want to come across as “deep.” I hate that word. So very, very much. Such hatred is rooted in my belief that most of the people who pegs themselves and their conversations as such tend to be about as deep as my tongue in Snoop from The Wire.
Unfortunately, because of the day jobs I’ve had to talk far more about sideline hoes than I’d like to. Even sadder is my observation that more and more people have become more accepting of their positions as backup ass. And then I stumble along this video clip, which makes me want to reach out and spray myself with a can of Lysol.
I don’t have a problem with black conservatives in theory. That is, those who fall in line with the pull yourself by your own bootstraps philosophy that conservative ideology is largely based on. I disagree with it as it relates to the role government should have in most instances, but I get it.
Yet for the life of me I’ll never understand these silly colored conservatives who spew out as much of the nonsensical bullshit as their common sense deficient white counterparts do. Most specifically, the asinine accusations and dimwitted theories related to President Obama. I would like to give them more credit than that, but again and again I’m shown instances that tell me that I shouldn’t bother.
By no means do I think the name Barack means, “Slim, Trim, He Is Who Without Sin,” but really, did this jackass just suggest that Barack Obama has something to do with the increased incidents of domestic violence?
He can’t really think something that stupid, can he? I imagine he’s simply saying this for the sake of of garnering himself attention. As pathetic as that may be it at least alleviates my fear that someone slipped wite out into his mama’s breast milk as a child.
Or maybe he is really that simple?
If you don’t remember James T. Harris, he’s the guy who stood up at a McCain rally and said, “I am begging you, sir. Take it to him.” Him would be a then Senator Obama.
I think the left side of my brain tried to commit suicide after seeing that video played over and over again throughout that day’s news cycle. Stupid is as stupid does indeed.
Speaking of stupid, the other day I was greeted by a conservative writer who purposely misinterpreted the recent gallery I wrote for The Root. He tried to say that I placed black conservatives on the same level as dictators. Nevermind that the gallery specifically noted that it spanned pop culture and politics and that those on the list only had one shared characteristic: they’re perceived to be embarrassing.
Truth be told, it wasn’t my idea to include the dictators as much of the post was done in jest, but really, their inclusion didn’t really negate that the gallery was obviously intended to be tongue-in-cheek. And to be blunt, if you see Dennis Rodman, O.J. Simpson, Clarence Thomas, and a dictator, do you really think they’re all equally as offensive?
It would make too much sense to just go with something plainly spelled out to you as is. No, you have to go one step further and remix it so it can point to your invented truth and give you something to bitch about.
This was a white conservative writer, mind you. Apparently he was picking a “fight” all in the name of defending Clarence Thomas. Of course, Alan Keyes was also on the list but he sure did leave him out of the “argument.” I’m sure Alan wouldn’t mind, though. He’s an obedient pet for the GOP.
I suppose the same can be said of James T. Harris.
I guess if you can’t beat ‘em you pretend he’s helping others get beat. Funny how the party of personal responsibility never wants to accept responsibility for its actions. One thing that isn’t funny is how ass backwards so many of the talking heads are.
I’m not shocked that this stray from the last presidential election would mouth of this nonsense, but I still find it no less pathetic.
Do people have no shame?
No need to answer, I know. I want advocate violence in a post themed around heinous accusations of helping facilitate it, but I’ll just say I wouldn’t be mad if his tongue ran away from home the day of his next booked appearance on Fox News.
I believe I miscommunicated my intentions with a previous post. When I asked that you send me new music, I should have prefaced it by noting that I only want ya’ll to send me good music. Something just can’t be ign’t; it has to be jiggable and ign’t. It’s the difference between someone like Lil’ Boosie and this fool, Ken Dahl:
Now I hope the person who emailed me this didn’t think I’d actually enjoy this. Walk the plank? Who in the hell do you think I am? Captain Hook? Not only can I not get jiggy to this shit, I’m tempted to Google Ken Dahl to see if he was born in America. If not, well, don’t be surprised if you see a follow-up post about his deportation.
The first wrong thing about this video is that it starts off with a child and the words, “BITCH, BITCH, BITCH!”
That’s not OK. There had better be a tutor on set or at the very least, a copy of Hooked on Phonics.
Even worse is this goes on with a Pacman like graphic. Uh, Pacman is a legend and Ms. Pacman is video game world’s greatest bust it baby. To quote my NO homie, “Don’t do me that.”
There’s also the issue of his sunglasses, whom he obviously stole from a teenage girl. Or a queen who tries too hard. Whatever the case is, give those glasses back to that girl, sir.
Ugh, and then there’s this jig. What is he doing? There’s a choreographer listed on the YouTube page of this. I’d love for that person to answer. I mean, I was named after Michael Jackson but I can’t pop lock him so by no means am I waiting in the wings to be jumped by Omarion on MTV. Still, I can break these heauxs off if you give me a couple of drinks. That has to count for something, no?
That said, that side to side move combined with a Muhammad Ali impersonation won’t bring anything but a brawl inside of a club. Consider yourselves warned.
The one positive thing I have to say about this song is I enjoy the line: ”No one got no where without taking the risk, without doing something different, without pushing the envelop.”
It’s unfortunate that it doesn’t apply to this song, though. This is very much in line with the school of thought that dictates that you can come up with any random beat and throw in a catch phrase and two step and – bam – fools will dance to in the club with no shame.
I count myself among said fools, however, you can’t just throw me any ole’ thing and expect me to throw my hood to it. Granted, this nonsense may be stuck in my head but the same can be said of the stomach virus I had at the beginning of the year.
Jig fail folks. Send me something else.
P.S. I see that this Ken person is on Twitter. I imagine he’ll be cursing me out by sunset. Follow me at @youngsinick if you don’t already.
Writer. Music head. Political junkie. Pop culture whore. Funny black boy. Looking to have a voice in the world -- with a few good sponsors.
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