“Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” Recap: “Scumbalaya”

It took 17 episodes, but Mimi Faust has finally realized what many of us quickly picked up on in the previous season: Nikko is an opportunist. Hold your applause, people. Yes, Mimi completed the marathon, but by the time she crossed the finish line, everyone else was icing their knees and sipping a smoothie as they hopped in their cars to drive home.

Since we’re on things that have been chopped, Mimi confronted Nikko in the studio ‘cause you know, back in the day he had a record deal and these 15 minutes of fame he’s got are prime iTunes single-selling time. However, from the lil’ snippet of lip syncing to heavily autotuned vocals we were treated to, Nikko sounds like his vocal chords were in an abusive relationship with a samurai sword. Needless to say, I won’t be copping his latest single, “Shower Rod.”

While talking, Mimi went from 0 to 100 real quick (oh Lord), yelling at Nikko and invading every decimeter of his personal space. We’ve seen this show before, Mimi, and per your usual timing comes across as too little, too late. As much as one understands how Mimi came to be the pariah magnet that she is, when will she break the pattern—starting with securing the services of a psychologist? Eh, not the season finale. Hashtag sadness.

At the very end of the episode, Mimi turned to Stevie J for support. Stevie J offers about as much support as an old bra with a missing cup and strap, but if you want to get back on that bus, Mimi, good luck and God bless. Hell, may Beyoncé and Janet Jackson bless you, too. You’re going to need all the help you can get.

Case in point, Stevie J saying: “I know I’ve made Mimi cry over and over again, but to know that someone else made her cry? Drives me crazy.”

Negro, gon’ somewhere.

I sure hope Joseline, who is practically Mimi Jr. minus the ESL classes, eventually has her exhale (shoop, shoop) moment long before she hits her 40s. She had her own dealings with Stevie J last night following Benzino telling Stevie J that Joseline allegedly had been sleeping with her driver.

Before we get to that, riddle me this: Throughout this entire season we have seen Joseline drive herself to and from every damn location. So, where did this driver come from? Is it the same place Nikko’s roommate came from? I mean, if he’s been married for several years, why did he have a roommate? Am I ruining the moment by asking these questions?

Unsolved mysteries aside, Joseline was ready for Stevie J to confront her about the rumors after Karlie Redd shot her a text, filling her in. I like Karlie Redd for being admittedly nosy as hell. Also, I take back what I said in a previous recap. Karlie isn’t the Pearl from 227 of LHHATL, “grandpapa” Benzino is.

Thing is, though, Stevie didn’t want to talk to Joseline about the rumors about her; he wanted to own up to sleeping with Althea. The accusations about her vaginal activity only came up during their argument. An argument that led to Joseline letting the tears flow as she complained about her “husband” taking her computer and Chanel purses whenever he’s upset with her. See, that’s the problem with calling your bae “daddy” all the time.

To Joseline’s credit, when Stevie once again tried to say that he gave her the life, “You ain’t give me shit. I gave it to myself because I worked.” I want her to believe this all the time. The sooner she does, the faster she’ll realize she doesn’t need to date a Geppetto. I want to start a Kickstarter to get her a self-worth transplant. Y’all down to contribute?

Read the rest at Complex.

“Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” Recap: Mimi and Stevie J Admit the Obvious

Mimi is the slowest bus in the HOV lane. I know, I know. She’s still reeling from the loss of her father, so I could stand to be a bit more sensitive. I’d rather not, and in my defense, Mimi been on that bullshit, which is why I say Mimi Faust is that friend you debate giving your new cell phone number to. She’s the kind of person who when met with a love tap by reality, would rather file a battery report versus just accepting the gift of truth. It takes a very special kind of friend to put up with that kind of persona. That said, I hereby declare her friend Ariane the Patron Saint of Putting Up With Worrisome People—and I have never been happier to be a big ass heathen.

This week’s episode kicked off with Mimi confronting Nikko about reports that he is married. Nikko nonchalantly acknowledged that he is indeed married and had no intention of ever disclosing that tidbit of information to his girlfriend. When prompted more about why he didn’t feel the need to do so, all he said was, “The question was never asked until now”—totally missing the point that one shouldn’t have to ask their boyfriend if they have a wife somewhere. Keeping up with the theme of feigned aloofness, all Nikko could say to Mimi about her anger is “I don’t get it.”

Of all the times Mimi has huffed and puffed and cussed someone smooth out, she opted out of doing so during this conversation. Way to not seize the moment, Mimi.

Knowing that people were going to find out about Nikko the same way she did, Mimi sat Ariane and Erica down to explain the situation while ultimately revealing the truth about that porno she shot with someone’s husband. Y’all, even after explaining that Nikko is a lying ass liar, she still sat there in front of her friends denying the possibility that Nikko leaked the tape himself. But after being called out on the production value of her porn, Mimi noted, “The initial tape was homemade.”<

Let Mimi tell it, the production company told them that they didn’t provide enough footage for a full release, so they went and shot some more. Honestly, this is about as big a reveal as Mimi saying she was born with a vagina. However, I am glad she did finally acknowledge that she is a porn actress because based on the preview of the tape, it looked like they fucked in an Extended Stay America room out in Marietta, Georgia, with catering service provided by Gladys Knight’s Chicken in Waffles in the next room.

When asked why she didn’t divulge the whole part of reshooting the sex scenes, Mimi said she didn’t feel the need to. Surprise, surprise: She only wants to tell the truth after feeling burned by her Forever 21 version of Stevie J. Either way, it explains her attraction to both men. She has a love-hate relationship with the truth, too. The scene ended in anger—Mimi’s—after she got super defensive over accusations that Nikko and his wife may be tag teaming that ass for a come up.

Later, Mimi would calm herself down to meet with Nikko’s old roommate. Yes, that same roommate K. Michelle claimed was actually Nikko’s homie, lover, friend. I don’t know how true that is, but I will say watching the scene of the two had me humming, “Woman to woman, have you ever been in love?” In any event, it only lent more credence to the “Nikko is using you, girl” theme by revealing that Nikko had long admitted to wanting to get Mimi on tape.

I bet Mimi still keeps Nikko around, though. Ariane, God bless you.

In related you ain’t shit news, Stevie J took a break from sociopathy to tell Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta superfan Snoop Dogg that he smashed Althea in Benzino’s house.

Read the rest at Complex.

“Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” Recap: Momma Dee and Thi Thi Wanna Sing

Thanks to what presumably was an attempt to create a strong lead-in for its newer shows—the awkward Dating Naked and the hilarious Candidly Nicole, respectively—we were treated to a second episode of Love & Hip Hop Atlantalast Thursday. It continued from immediately where we left off on Monday—Karlie Redd discovering that Yung Joc was not out of town on business and was instead with his chauffeur-realtor-semi-annual sidepiece. You know, the one who looks like Nivea in her second trimester. Anyhow, Karlie Redd confronts them and asks Joc a very pertinent question: “How the hell do you go from here to a fat bitch?”

See, Karlie, it’s fine to be upset about being cheated on, but don’t shame the chubby chasers. Some people enjoy love handles and that’s perfectly fine. As the two went back and forth, it was clear Joc was enjoying the confrontation and the screen time way too much. For all the Karlie Redd-bashing he did—calling her a “dumb broad” for still fucking with him after he came home smelling like he hosted someone else’s vagina monologue—she’s the only reason he has a storyline. So, point goes to Karlie Redd, though I have to giveJoc some acknowledgement for the line, “You know you’ve been diagnosed with THOTism.”

Well played, sir.

After that exchange came a serious conversation between Mimi and DebAntney, which kicked off with Deb declaring, “Me and Mimi have some things in common: pain.” Deb says she wants to serve as a mother figure for Mimi. Mimi sure could use one (along with a therapist), especially if you recall what we learned about Mimi’s Scientologist mama in the first season. The story is even worse than we thought as Mimi revealed that she was conceived during her mother’s affair with her biological father, whom she didn’t meet until she was 16. Her mother handed her a piece of paper with his name and that was that. Good grief this is woman damaged.

Speaking of bad things, Mimi did agree to meet with Stevie J only to leave before finishing her drink, ‘cause after he vaguely acknowledged he was wrong for disrespecting her on the day her father died, he proceeded to bash “Freakko.” Of course, everyone on Planet Earth who watches this show agrees that Nikko ain’t it, but I guess when you embarrass the absolute shit out of your baby mama on national television you can’t be all “He can’t lead you and then take you. Make you and then break you. Darlin’, you hold the power.”

Now, on to my favorite portion of the episode: Althea’s musical debut (on the show).

Althea used to be signed to Def Jam and Foxy Brown’s label or something back in the day. Plus she apparently studied ballet, jazz, and tap, which suggests she could’ve been a Mýa if she hadn’t been such a hater bitch. None of that was evident in her performance last night, though. No shade, but when your name is Althea you’ve got to move better than Ashanti.

Perhaps boo-loving with Benzino kept her away from practice, but Thi Thisounded out of breath and in need of a flashlight to find the pitch. As for those dance moves, she was dancing like a stripper on the last half hour of her shift who become even more exhausted upon realizing that she still has to go home and make that double cheeseburger macaroni Hamburger Helper for her kids.

However, everybody can’t be Beyoncé, or even Ciara, so it’s all good, Thi Thi. I have since listened to the studio version of “Ghetto Love” and that shit knocks. It’s a thot bop, but if you’re into Thot ‘N B like me that won’t deter you. Some people will hate, but I’m Team Motherfucking Thi Thi.

Read the rest at Complex.

“Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” Recap: Stevie J Doesn’t Care If Your Daddy Died

When someone informs you that their parent has fallen gravely ill and subsequently dies, that’s everyone’s cue to momentarily shut the hell up about whatever grievance they have. Mimi’s homegirls got the memo on last week’s edition of Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta, though Stevie J decided to opt out of exhibiting basic human decency. It’s like you know he got the message because he opted to turn on iMessage’s read receipt, but he decided to get defensive and be inconsiderate all the same.

Following a radio interview in which Mimi apparently took shots at Stevie J for allegedly not paying child support, Stevie J called Mimi to threaten her (and then called her a “ho” before hanging up in her face) and went on to shoot her a text that said “Karma is a bitch” on the day her father died. Some of us can recall the text in question given Mimi uploaded a screenshot of it toInstagram. I’m not sure if Stevie J is upset with Kirk Frost for taking his “Worst Man On Basic Cable Ever” title away from him, but if he’s trying to get that crown back, this is the way to go about it.

After Mimi told her what all went down, Ariane reached out to Stevie J in order to find out “why you acting such an ass, Stevie?” Stevie acknowledges that he shouldn’t have been such an evil asshole towards her, but hates that Mimi acts as if she did the sex tape to support their daughter. While I agree with Stevie that Mimi is trying to come up with excuses on why she made that porn with the Stevie J knockoff, there needed to be a trap door on set for him to fall through the minute he played dumb as to why Mimi has been behaving the way she has. You can’t fuck somebody up in the head and then be like “Why you got a headache, girl?” Ariane may overstepped her boundaries by telling Stevie J that she suspects Mimi did that porn in order to get back at him, but it sounds pretty damn accurate all the same.

They’re equally right about their assessment of Nikko, but Mimi nonetheless feels that when it comes to people who truly hold her down, all she has is her XXX co-star and her daughter. Pray for that misguided woman, America.

Although Stevie J has yet to make amends with Mimi, he’s done a good job of calmingJoseline down after making her feel like the post-arrest Farrah Franklin to Mimi’s Beyoncé. How did “The Good Guy” who is more like a soulful sociopath please his (probably pretend) bride? Setting up a music video shoot for her, naturally.

Here’s my thing about Joseline, the recording artist. I don’t fault the woman for wanting to do music influenced by her Puerto Rican culture, but do they realize that most of us watching them every Monday on VH1 only understand Spanish in the context of “more guac, please?” I mean, yes, expand your market, Puerto Rican Princess, but as far as actually launching your music career goes, you need to be thinking Trina, not trap Gloria Estefan in the interim.

Read the rest at Complex.

“Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” Recap: Stop It, Mimi

Who else has noticed over time that whenever Mimi Faust wants to convey sincerity, or more recently, trying to sell the viewing public aloofness about some shit she knows good and damn well she actively was a part of, she uses her “inside voice.” You know, as if we’re not used to seeing her go 0 to a 100 real quick. That’s how last night’s episode of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta started – immediately letting me know that I was about to get a double dose of bullshit. Mimi’s still trying to pretend she did not purposely shoot a porn with Dollar Store Stevie J as her friends continue to approach her with the following plea: Oh Lord, know yourself, know your worth, girl.

Meanwhile, Nikko is in her bed grinning like the villain he is over the response to their cinematic debut—particularly Joseline’s crack about Mimi’s freak levels being as low as a post-mortem Sophia Petrillo. In response, Mimi cracked about the number of folks who have taken a cruise to Joseline’s clitoris and added in the confessional, “One of the reasons why I signed the contract in the first place is because Joseline taught me what not to do. Her naked ass is all over the Internet for free and didn’t make one red cent.”

Well, that’s certainly one way to look at it. Another would be to say that if a teenage prostitute and streetwalker—as in a woman used to making money off her naked body—believes it’s a bad idea to shoot a porn with a man clearly trying to capitalize of your newfound celebrity, that ought to tell you something. However, you can’t tell Mimi anything as evidenced by her reactions to both Ariane and Erica Dixon.

Although many people across social media seemed to find Erica’s criticism of Mimi to be self-righteous, I was not as bothered. Moreover, I don’t find Erica fighting on camera to be equivalent to spreading eagle and hanging from a shower rod with a wannabe member of Dru Hill. I may have been raised differently, but even my OG pops and devout Catholic mama taught me that punks jump up to get beat down, so while fighting in adulthood isn’t the move, I don’t find that comparable to shooting a porn when you have a young child.

That aside, it’s not that I think being an adult film entertainer prevents you from being a responsible parent. No, it’s just that there’s a certain level of honesty and maturity one ought to have if you opt to go down that path—which Mimi has yet to display. She has a business and a TV check, so the porn wasn’t about “providing for my daughter.” It’s more like people like sex and that leads them to porn, and nowadays lower tier stars think they can become Kim Kardashian when they do a “sex tape” so they jump on the bandwagon. Mimi is old enough to remember Xscape’s “Keep It On The Real.” I wish she’d go back and listen to it.

Anyhow, Erica had good intentions but poor as hell timing given she made her case to Mimi while she dealt with news that her father suffered a very bad stroke. If I were Mimi, I would’ve been like, “Just tell me you think I’m the worst person to ever possess a vagina so I can go see my daddy.”

Read the rest at Complex.

On The “On The Run” Tour

As someone who firmly believes that God said on the seventh day, “Y’all ain’t ready for the jelly I’m going to send to earth on September 4, 1981,” it doesn’t take much for me to get excited about anything Beyoncé-related.

So while I knew I would be attending the “On The Run” Tour, I was far more interested in seeing Beyoncé on stage than I was to see Beyoncé’s husband and co-headliner, Jay Z.

Having seen him a year ago with Justin Timberlake, I wondered whether or not the pop-pop of rap would be doing the performance equivalent of “you in the club doing the same old two-step.” To Mr. Carter’s credit, not only did he manage to keep up with his wife’s electricity, he showed his own on stage growth — albeit in much subtler fashion.

The Carters kicked off their two-and-a-half set to a sold-out crowd at Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia on Saturday with “03 Bonnie and Clyde.” The two then spent the rest of the show going back-and-forth in well-executed transitions that merged their sounds seamlessly.

Keeping with the theme of the promo video that spread across the Internet mere seconds after it finished uploading, throughout the night, Beyoncé and Jay Z played Tarantino-themed vignettes depicting the couple as outlaws.

For the record, I’m one of those people who believes Beyoncé is a much better actress than “The Fighting Temptations” and “Carmen: A Hip Hopera” let on. But y’all don’t hear me, though. Now for some concertgoers, it might’ve been surprising to see Beyoncé holding guns and cursing out people while acting out a bank robbery.

However, if you’ve been a longtime fan of the Patron Saint of Houston, you’re not at all surprised to see her more aggressive side. It’s always been there, only she became much more guarded as media folk increasingly reached for their scalpels in order to dissect her.

With the release of BEYONCÉ, Yoncé has let said guard down, and thankfully, that’s been carried over to her live shows.

When you’ve been a dominant fixture of pop music as a solo star for a decade, it would be easy to fall into a state of contentment, especially when your contemporaries are better at Instagram uploads and subtweets than they are singing and dancing.

Still, Beyoncé is only 32, so it’s great to see that she’s not resting on her laurels. With both “The Mrs. Carter Show”and the “On The Run” tours, it’s clear that Beyoncé is aiming to spend the next decade of her life raising the bar in terms of the spectacle with which she treats fans. Given the torture that Beyoncé puts fans through to get tickets, they deserve it.

There are differences between the shows, particularly in terms of song arrangements and the noticeably different changes to her choreography. Beyoncé’s style of dance always came across to me as “Tina Turner at her prime at the club dancing to Ca$h Money’s best selections.”

It was always entertaining, but not necessarily the most challenging steps. Now, you see more intricate steps and much more skilled Beyoncé nailing every move. Somewhere Janet and Madonna are going, “Gon’ girl.” Ditto for her costumes. 

With her voice, she’s never sounded clearer and more confident, but if there were any critique I’d have about Beyoncé the singer, it would be that she wasn’t always convincing when singing songs like “Resentment.”

I’ve since changed my opinion as Beyoncé has learned not to convey pain in her voice with growling. I’m not sure if that can be attributed to experience or just more practice, but she’s much more adept at that style at singing as further evidenced by her cover of Lauryn Hill’s “Ex Factor.”

By the way, as far as Bey changing the lines of the “Resentment” goes, that’s something she’s been doing for several years now. Stop it before the #Beyhive creeps into your nightmares.

And while the debate of whether or not Beyoncé is a feminist, a terrorist or some Illuminati demon trying to get black girls pregnant because she sings about boning her husband in a limousine in certain circles that I proudly ignore, the woman herself continues to uplift women her way.

Read the rest at Elite Daily.

“Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” Recap: Mimi’s Sex Tape Is Out

For a show themed around reality, it felt odd for Lil’ Scappy, Momma Dee, and Erica P to Nae Nae all around what exactly went down at the restaurant. In a confessional, Momma Dee said, “This is a very serious matter. As a mother, I’d like to think that I raised Scrappy to be a respectful and honest man to all women. I feel like I failed him. I gotta straighten this [out].” But “this” was never explicitly detailed, though we can deduce that Scrappy put his paws on his friend as evidenced by Momma Dee revealing that Scrappy is increasingly frustrated by his career not being where he wants it to be and Scrappy himself noting he has to learn how to properly deal with his anger.

Now that she mentions it, it has been a long time since Scrappy had a hit, huh? Join me in pouring out a lil’ coconut Myx moscato in memoriam of Scrappy, the good years. Let’s also bop to “Some Cut.”

That aside, last night’s episode of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta was the first time Momma Dee had every right to butt into her son’s affairs—thus let us clap for a pimp with her pimpin’ ass. After Momma Dee expressed her disappointment and let him know that she invited Erica P. over to talk things out, Scrappy offered a sincere apology to her. One hopes that he does indeed learn to keep his paws to himself, given should he lose his cool again, reality TV producers might not be able to prevent them laws from locking him up.

In the other apologetic portion of the program, Kirk had his “I’m Sorry” party for his all too forgiving wife, Rasheeda. All I have to say about that lil’ bash in their yard is Bobby V. was singing in the key of begging Keith Sweat as the party attendees feasted on what looked like brisket and ribs. Their Black is fucking gorgeous, y’all.

Unfortunately, someone always has to soil the moment. Not surprisingly, it was Benzino’s bae Althea. Everything about Althea screams “I’m really trying to make fetch happen when it comes to fame.” After catching a flat tire on Music Dreams Highway, Althea has since caught a bus on Reality TV Road and is milking this shit for all its worth.

To wit, Althea approached my favorite, Erica, Ms. Dixon, and Karlie Redd, to apologize for throwing drinks at them. Well, more so Erica; Althea doesn’t give a good damn about Karlie Redd. The problem with Althea’s methodology is, you don’t tell someone you’re sorry while sporting a smirk on your face and continuing to act defensively when called on the very antics you claim to be apologizing for. Needless to say, Althea ended her scene by Benzino escorting her off the Frost property and him informing her that she needn’t allow “those women to get her to go from one to 10” so hastily.

But, but, but, Benzino: How else will your girl get that extra camera time she clearly covets?

Read the rest at Complex.

“Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” Recap: Keep Your Paws to Yourself

While the debate on when and where it is appropriate to breastfeed lingers on (answer is usually whenever the mama, baby, and nipple feel like it), can we all come together as a people and agree that it’s probably not a good idea for a mother to breastfeed her son until age 14 and chase the milk with six ounces of Colt 45? As much as I appreciate Lil’ Scrappy’s commitment to remixing the English language in his own image, there comes a point in a man’s life when he ought to say to himself, “I cannot be the peach state’s Jody forever.” Hopefully, after he watched himself on last night’s edition of Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta, he looked in the mirror and promised to get his shiz-nay-ee together…feel me?

For a show with a level of couth as low as the VIP suite in the seventh circle of hell, you have to do something pretty damn terrible to have your scene partially blocked out even if only for mere seconds. And based on Erica P’s disheveled Malaysian sew-in and an apology from Momma Dee on her son’s behalf, one assumes that Scrappy put them paws on the woman he referred to as his “friend.” However, as Erica rightly pointed out to him during their meeting that turned into fight night at the Chiptole-esque restaurant, real friends don’t do certain things. Like, flirt, flirt some more, and, when called out for blurring the lines of their friendship, refer to their friend as a “bum bitch” that’s “fucked up” and “crazy.”

Even so, Erica has to come to grips with her behavior in the matter, too. You knew this man had a relationship with The Bam, yet you threw your ass in his face whenever production said “rolling.” Plus, if this is your friend, then you know how he is when it comes to relationships. He can’t commit and has a level of respect for women that is surely influenced by his overbearing mother, the ex-nurse turned pimp and dealer. So with all of that information in mind, are you surprised by his behavior, Erica?

This is not a defense of his assumed actions last night, but it is a reminder for Erica that if it barks like a dog, drunk texts like a simp, and let’s a Momma Dee step into his affairs, it means you should block his number so he can’t iMessage you.

Keeping with the theme of not making sense of blatant signs, Kaleena ended her homie, lover, friend relationship with her big booty homegirl from Baltimore, Ashley. During another work-dodging field trip to the strip club, Ashley told Kaleena, “People make time for what people want to make time for.” This was in response to Kaleena “making time” to do her actual job: singing. If that doesn’t sound possessive enough for you, Ashley also took Kaleena’s phone to prevent contact with her husband.

That husband was none too pleased about all of this (surprise, surprise), spurring Kaleena to finally decide that maybe she should just focus on the person she actually married versus the girl who wants all of the attention a committed relationship brings without actual commitment. To be fair, though, part of Ashley’s assumption that she deserves all this attention is rooted in Kaleena giving it to her whenever she brings those cheeks down to Atlanta.

I don’t know why it took so long for Kaleena to realize that polyamory doesn’t work when trying to pursue your dreams of music stardom as a solo act, but better late than ever. Just one thing, though, Kaleena: You got a kid being raised by your parents in another state while you chase your dreams and you waste that time jumping out of cars to dance with your sidepiece?

Tell me that editing exaggerated this situation. Wait, don’t tell me; tell CPS. By the way, K: Y’all gon’ smash again.

Let’s move on to the somewhat self-aware portion of the program, shall we?

Read the rest at Complex.

“Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” Recap: Sex, Lies, & I’m Sorry Parties

Last week, I ended up my LHHATL recap asking for more Erica Dixon after she delivered a splendid performance at the train tracks with her now ex-boyfriend, O’Shea. And to the show’s credit, the mother of Scrappy’s child did kick off yesterday’s episode—only it was in the capacity of repeating some Mimi Faust-fed gossip about Benzino’s boo thang to Karlie Redd. I know Erica has to keep collecting those club appearance checks, which means she’ll do whatever is required of her to stay on the show. Still, I’m not convinced she gives that big of a damn about Althea allegedly bedding Stevie J and Benzino.

No matter, though, as the opening scene’s biggest farce was Karlie Redd pretending that she wasn’t going to run and tell Joseline about Stevie J’s alleged infidelity to be messy; instead, Karlie said it was about their friendship. Hardy har. Karlie Redd is about as genuine a friend to Joseline Hernandez as anyone reading this is to Sallie Mae.

This was proven when Karlie Redd damn near climaxed on the gym mat when she told Joseline what she’s been hearing about her dude. If Karlie Redd ever gets saved, she’s going to be the messy old church lady. If not, she’ll be the messy old lady in her apartment building. Karlie Redd doesn’t spill tea; she takes a 2 liter bottle of soda, shakes it up furiously, and promptly twists the cap open so she can spill that shit all over the people in her presence. She’s fun, but no one is fooled.

Joseline knows this, so you can’t blame her for being initially skeptical considering both the source and its messenger. Clearly smarter than the average cast member despite not remembering much past eighth grade, Joseline is right to point out that Mimi still wants Stevie J and would like nothing more than to cause trouble in their rented paradise. So the Puerto Rican Princess opted to do her own investigation before reacting.

That investigation led to Joseline informing Stevie J at the very end of the episode that she is going to beat the hell out of Althea the next time she sees her—mostly because she feels she can’t take Stevie J. I’m surprised by this admission given the previous two seasons featured Joseline being the Ultimate Warrior to Stevie J’s Hulk Hogan. I don’t know, maybe she stopped drinking as many protein shakes and feels less confident.

Funny enough, Benzino has all but forgiven Stevie J for messing with his girl, though Stevie J swears that he’s never had sex with Althea. It’s very hard to know whom to believe. Mimi lies about her feelings and the porno movies they inspired all of the time, so she’s not exactly trustworthy. Neither is Althea, who is desperately happy to be on TV. And Stevie J is well…you know.

Read the rest at Complex.

“Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” Recap: The Body Counts Keep Rising

Although she could never fill the fruit wine cooler-colored wig of K. Michelle, there are some similarities between Kaleena and the Memphis-bred R&B singer. They both seem like the type of girls who can jump a gate, and as K. Michelle once warned, you never want to mess with a girl who knows how to jump gates. Both are good for the one liner. And as we learned last night, the two women share dual memberships in #dicktoobomb and Cat Trap Nation.

Most of all, similar to K. Michelle, Kaleena is no rookie to music. Beyond her time as the Kima of Diddy-Dirty Money, Kaleena released the painfully ignored mixtape Chamber of Diaries, which showed Kaleena had far more to offer the world as an artist than a mere resemblance to Estelle. For the life of me, I couldn’t understand why Kaleena fizzled away despite the ample amount of evidence that she deserve to join the Tribe of Lost Bad Boy Acts.

Thank you, VH1, for solving the riddle.

While Kaleena’s husband was pushing her to get her album together—and, you know, make this whole reality show thing work for them—Kaleena was more interested in smacking the ass cheeks of her homie, lover, friend, Ashley. We learned about this special friend while Kaleena shopped with Karlie Redd for “the Cadillac of all mattresses.” Kaleena explained that Ashley helped her deal with her bisexuality. So much so that she went on to say, “It’s always been my dream to have a wife and a husband.”

Not all dreams are possible, though, leaving Kaleena to find contentment with having a “best friend with a fat ass, that’s beautiful [and] smiles [and] is pretty.” And well, one you can fuck every now and again to your husband’s delight. Karlie approved Kaleena and her husband for “keeping it hot and sexy” and went on to show that she is bi-curious.

Whether or not this curiosity was spurred by a genuine interest in smooching a different set of lips or Karlie just shooting for more screen time is up to you to decide.

Kaleena should’ve been more focused on finishing up her music so she can finally get the attention her talent deserves. Like, do these people not realize what K. Michelle did with her time on Love & Hip Hop besides make fun of the elderly and alleged closeted gay men? Nevertheless, I promise to dap Kaleena on sight for tricking her husband into thinking he was going to get a threesome out of Kaleena’s little escape from the world of heteronormativity. Kaleena and Ashley told that dude to go wash the dishes while they go have a play date.

Love & polyamory, y’all.

Read the rest at Complex.