As I’m sure many of you noticed, I didn’t blog much last week. It wasn’t my intention, but these things happen sometimes I guess. You forgive me, right?
Probably not so if you need to, feel free to take a moment to roll your eyes and think in your mind, “You ain’t shit.”
Alright, let’s move on. Anywho, this is the perfect time to bring back the recurring “The Week In 10.”
So yeah, let’s go here it is:
1. Nicki Minaj performs on The Late Show with David Letterman.
It’s not that Nicki Minaj is a bad performer, it’s just she’s turning out not to be the performer I imagined her to be. Actually, the more I hear her solo singles I worry that she might not ultimately be the artist I thought she would be either.
On the songs she’s featured on, she embodies all of the charm, theatrics, and fun that made her the most buzzed about female rapper in over a decade. On her solo singles, she comes across as someone trying out to be a pop star. I gather her rationale is by doing so it will make it easier for her to net mainstream attention.
The irony of that is she was already getting that attention by just being herself.
Like really, when you have Harriet the Spy mimicking your raps in the car with Dawson, no creek, you don’t have to do the most. And by the most, I mean acting like Fergie and Gwen Stefani.
I like “Check It Out,” but I don’t get why she’s pushing this song so hard. It’s not doing that well and it sounds nothing like what made her popular.
I’m all for growth, but this direction seems rooted in cynicism.
Nicki, if you want to learn how to dance, okay.
If you want to make even more odd faces, cool. I’ll step my cookies up and practice that along with my fake accents.
Hell, even though I don’t like it all that much, if you want to sing a little (“Right Through Me”), go ahead.
However, the biggest buzz she’s gotten in months was for her feature on “Monster.”
Take the hint, girl.
She’s making the same mistakes Drake made with his single choices. People wanted “Best I Ever Had” and he gave…not that.
C’mon, Nicki. Don’t fuck around and give Kimberly false hope.
2. Drake’s logic fail.
Speaking of Drake, Captain Caveman really tried it in this interview. I wish I could fuck every girl in the world is a metaphor? From the man who likely would’ve impregnated half the hemisphere had he not been imprisoned?
A couple of things, Aubrey.
You didn’t answer Katie Couric’s question.
A. “A sort of fine line between fun and wit.”
You’re talking about Lil’ Wayne, who refers to himself as the “pussy monster.” That’s not witty and it’s only fun for him.
B. Why does your face always light up when talking about Mr. Carter? I swear, Drake acts like he was breast fed with that Wayne’s dick.
C. Just because women sing along doesn’t mean it’s not offensive to them. It’s called patriarchy. And irony.
D. “You can look at me. I am not the type of guy to demean women.” Yeah, it doesn’t matter how you look it’s what you say.
Remember the days when artists were actually trained on how to properly answer question so they didn’t sound like they chewed on bullshit?
When we reminisce over you…