We have reached the end of the inaugural season of Love & Hip Hop Hollywood and all I have are questions. Maybe they’ll be settled at the reunion, but since I’m not hosting, I doubt it. So I’ll just use this space here. Please tweet the cast this link, y’all, ‘cause I have to know some things.
My first question is for Masika: Why are you such a mean-ass bitch?
If you feel that question is gendered replace “bitch” with “asshole.” Regardless, you are fucking evil, Masika, and I really want to know why. My follow up question is, “Do I need to call Iyanla to fix you?” Or better yet, Snoop Dogg, since he’s become the Dr. Phil of this franchise.
Seeing as how Hazel E is psychotic over Yung Berg, Masika didn’t have to rub it in her face that she’s screwing Hazel’s imaginary boyfriend. Masika takes pleasure in other women’s humiliation. If Disney ever produces an animated movie calledThe Thots of Terror, I recommend Masika play the evil empress of Thotville.
Moving on to other terrible people, my next question is for Nia: What is wrong with you?
After Nia and her daughter were involved in a car accident, Soulja Boy rushed to be by her side. It takes a near-death experience for Soulja Boy to show he cares. Apparently, Nia having a miscarriage with the child they conceived wasn’t enough. At one point, Nia says, in the confessional, “That’s the man I love and I MIGHT spend the rest of my life with.”
Woman, get a grip.
When a man blocks you on Instagram after you have a miscarriage, no matter what he does after that, you’ve got to run away from him as opposed to what you did: get his name tattooed on your neck.
In Fizz’s case, he has no choice but to deal with Moniece because he made a baby with her. The two met at the beach to talk. Moniece described the scene as “romantic.” She would, as she is pinning for Fizz to take her crazy ass back. Yo, if Moniece ever turned out to be a serial killer, I would not be surprised. Wait, let me shut up before she makes me target practice.
In any event, Fizz calmly expressed his concerns to Moniece and stressed the need for them to co-parent in peace. Fizz realizes that he’s stuck with this woman for at least another decade so he may as well suck it up and try to get along with her. Doing so will help stop her from spreading alleged lies about him “in the blogs,” and you know, probably stabbing him in his sleep while wearing a wedding gown.
Now, I do have a question for Fizz: Why are you still rapping?
I mean, the verse I heard in the studio wasn’t bad, but I’m surprised he hasn’t tried acting. No, those B2K movies don’t count. I mean, he should go be the blue collar, light skinned savior in a Tyler Perry movie.
Read the rest at Complex.